Why I’m No Longer a Christian, and Why I Promote Yoga and Meditation

I often get comments from Christians urging me to come back to Jesus, and that he would still forgive me if I were to return to the faith. In response to this, I feel that it’s important to clarify a few things.

I did not fall away. I didn’t find it hard to live a Christian life. Living sin-free is what I do to this day, to the best of my ability.

What made me to turn away from Christianity is nothing to do with an inability to live a moral life. When your earthly soul merges with the divine Higher Self, you cannot but live a moral life.

What made me deconvert was my research into this faith. You assume that the deeper you dig, the purer form of Christianity you will find. But that’s absolutely not true.

The deeper you dig, the more you realize that there’s no real root of Christianity. You assume that the more you research, the better chance there is to discover the trunk of those many branches of Christianity we have to choose from today. But that’s not the case.

The deeper you dig, the more contradicting Christian sects you find, and the ones that are really old have nothing in common with the Christianity of today.

Let’s take Ebionites, for example, who were the first-century Jewish followers of Jesus. They are considered by some researchers to be the original followers of this teacher. They were called “the poor ones” because they followed Jesus’ teachings literally, one of which was not to store money for the future.

Ebionites believed him to be a mere wise teacher – definitely not the son of God, and definitely not born of the virgin. They did not expect him to resurrect, and they did not wait for his second coming. Nazarenes is yet another earliest sect that one would benefit from researching, and this sect is even mentioned in the Bible (Acts 24:5). Some people consider Ebionites and Nazarenes to be identical.

The tradition of the Church fathers is also just one of the branches of Christianity and has nothing to do with the true trunk of the Christian faith. They were at war with Gnostics, and their arrogant way of dealing with those who believed in a different way, as well as fraudulent claims about those who believed differently and the falsification of their written records, clearly show who those people were.

Gnostics is another sect that might have preserved some of the original teachings of Jesus; yet their doctrines are in opposition to the official Christianity. They are the preservers of the Way that I speak of in my Sun Behind The Sun book. I agree with many of their claims, but not all (since they, like protestants, disagreed between each other with regards to certain doctrines).

The official Christianity of today (Catholicism, plus its rebellious daughter Protestantism with all of its daughters (denominations)) is just an official version of this faith. It’s a set of tenets that most appealed to the Roman rulership of the day. From day one it was mixed with paganism to make it into a “Universal” (that’s what “Catholic” means) religion that appeals to the masses and is one of the NWO religions to pave the way to the universal messiah.

We find that in early Jewish Christian sects there were no talks about Jesus being the sun of God or the savior of the world. He is simply seen as a wise man/teacher who showed the right way to live. This kind of sane doctrine found in Jesus’ native country grew into something totally different once it reached the shores of pagan nations. Many pagan myths were weaved into the faith to make it similar to what they already were familiar with, and the man Jesus was made into yet another sun god, which was quite popular to do with the heroes at the time.

Again, I talk more in detail about the identity of Jesus and Christianity in the Sun Behind The Sun book, and all I would like to say here more about Jesus is that he himself thought to be returning very soon, but failed his own prophecy.

He told that he would return to this earth in one generation (Luke 21:32), but that didn’t happen. In fact, he told this more than once; we also find it said in Mark 14:62, where Jesus tells to the high priest that the high priest will see him coming in clouds. In Matthew 16:28 he said that some wouldn’t taste death until they see his second coming. None of these prophesies came true.

His early believers in the tradition of Church Fathers (the pagan branch of the faith) all thought him to be returning within their lifetimes. 2,000 years later, Christians are still waiting.

About yoga and meditation

Now about why I promote yoga and meditation. I promote meditation much more than yoga, because I believe yoga to pose some dangers in this polluted twenty-first century. That’s because yoga deals with the manipulation of the body in order to awaken kundalini.

This can quickly happen to those who are unprepared, and then there might be terrible consequences to deal with. I already talked about this in my kundalini posts such as here, here and here. Due to this reason, I’m not promoting yoga that much.

But meditation is a totally different thing. It gradually opens your eyes and because of this I consider it much safer than yoga. Also, there are right and left hand paths of this road. In the past I picked the left one, without knowing it. It opened my eyes faster, but it was terrifying. Now I’m following the right path, which gives much more stability. I will make a note to describe those two paths in a future post.

The reason in the past I demonized these two activities is the one that I explained many times before. The awakening was traumatic because it wasn’t as I expected it to be. Because of this, I distanced myself from all the activities that opened my eyes and labelled them “demonic”.

This was a fear-based response. As a result of being taken out of balance, I naturally retreated into the Catholic background which is the heritage of the white nations. It’s not that my parents were religious – to the contrary. Yet that background is our (unfortunate) inheritance, and you may find yourself retreating into that background when something unexpected happens.

Yoga and meditation aren’t demonic. They open your eyes. But what you see is probably nothing what you expect to see, and this is frightening. Like Morpheus says in The Matrix, “all I’m offering is the truth”. That’s what you get when you follow one of the paths of the Way.


I hope that this explains my deconversion. The reason I had to write this post is because of the many comments that I still get from my Christian readers. They cannot be bothered to read my previous articles explaining my actions, so I had to write this new one in the hope of reaching them, so that they no longer send me “come back to Jesus” messages.


  1. Ranjeewa fernando says

    Dear Simona ,
    Recently met this Buddhist Monk, earlier he was an mechanical engineer (major in Physics), but now he become preacher .Most of his discussions in sri Lankan language .
    But I like to give this link ,where he did it English for students in Canada.
    I’m your follower from beginning .

  2. Yew Kwang Hooi says

    Thank you Simona for walking the path many will not take or even think of ever taking. Your articles are always fasscinating and thought-provoking. I learnt a few things about the original movement started by Jesus of Nazareth. Although I am not a Christian, having read the new Testament (notable contrast with the old Testament in spirit and in teaching) and reading about the biography of Jesus convinced me that not only he is a wise teacher, he is an enlightened being, in Buddhism we call them Arhant or Bodhisatva. He is made of flesh and blood, and would of course physically die just like anyone of us. If he is a Bodhisatva, it is not strange for Buddhist to believe that he is instantly regenerated as a higher being now (typical being will undergo rebirth from womb). An enlightened should not be judged by miracle incidents (which they are usually capable of, as by many Buddhist saints) but by insightful teaching that touches the “soul”. On the speculation that Jesus is a son of God, thus he is God himself, it is also not hard for a Buddhist to digest this idea. It is not impossible but it does not matter. What matters is His teaching which is in parallel with the Dhamma of the Buddha. As a note here, the Dhamma is not a law created by the Buddha; it is discovered by the Buddha and many others including Jesus and possibly you and me too one day. Is the Dhamma given by the almighty God, Buddhists usually do not dwell on that speculation. It is not impossible (if it is considered important) that Jesus before his coming was in Heaven, son of a god, god himself, who chose to be reborn as human, and after demise being reborn back in Heaven, awaiting for the next birth as human again to continue the teaching. The historical Buddha, Sakyamuni Gotama, according to accounts, was technically a god (a son of another god) from a heaven known as Tushita, born as a human prince, became enlightened, chose to teach the wisdom, and he said, don’t count on God/Gods for one’s liberation but to work towards it using the right knowledge, right discipline and the right method. Thank you.

    • Amen, I’m of the same opinion. The more I research about Buddhism, the more similarities I find between it and Christianity.

      • I IvI A N L E UU says

        Amen too. I’m researching on my own as well. Ezactly my experience.
        Except it’s your story.Thanks for sharing. Really saved me time to test all the wisdom and ideas for consistency..
        God grace be upon you.

  3. Have you heard about heartfullness meditation? What is your view about it.

  4. To me yoga helps to ready the mind for meditation. It helps keep the body healthy as well.
    Thanks for exposing the incongruity.

  5. Your research into Christianity inspired me to look deeper into the history of religions. I just came across this article that suggests that Daoism/ Taoism may have inspired Christianity. Here is the link if you are interested: thblack.com/spirituality/Taoism/taoism-early.htm

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

  6. LaMetrius Jackson says

    do you believe in the old testament? i ask because i just read an article that said an end times prophecy in the book of ezekiel pertaining to there being life (fish) in the dead sea has recently been fulfilled.

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