Why I Am Celibate

I’ve been celibate for a very long time. I started practising celibacy when I got deep into Hinduism, because in this religion (as well as in Buddhism) it is told that one should become celibate in order to reach the divine. Celibacy isn’t the only path in Hinduism, but it’s the one that I chose.

Of course, later my negative experiences in these pagan religions made me understand that none of those paths led to God; and when Yeshua saved me (I talk about this here) and I became a Christian, I broke celibacy once because I got back with my ex-boyfriend, having realized that celibacy is not required in Christianity.

However, this getting back with my ex was against the will of YHWH and it was a huge mistake. I talk about it here. I thank YHWH that He showed me enough reasons not to proceed to marry that person.

So I broke my celibacy once, and it was with the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And since this wasn’t the will of YHWH, our paths had to separate again.

So I’m back being celibate, and since he was the only person that I really wanted to be with, I cannot imagine being with anyone else.

In all honesty, when I try to find reasons why I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, it’s probably a lot to do with the fact that he allowed me to be who I was, and adjusted to me rather than I to him. Later on I found out that he was a psychopath so it makes sense why he adjusted to me and became the “perfect man” – it’s a strategy psychopaths use to enslave.

It was never difficult for me to be celibate with the exception of the very beginning, about which I will tell next. I believe it was fairly easy for me to become celibate because I wasn’t addicted to sex to the degree that I see many people addicted.

I believe that many people are addicted to sex because they get into relationships for the lust they feel for another person, or because they are seduced by their beauty and so it’s all about flesh. Many people get into relationships to satisfy their addiction to sex, and there’s nothing in common between them and the partners that they choose with the exception of sexual desire for each other.

It’s Satan who perverted our sexual drive in such a way. This drive was given to us in order to produce offspring. But Satan seized on it and made an entire industry out of it, and made many people slaves of this drive. He made people develop perverted appetites to do with this drive. One of the reasons that I prefer being celibate is that Satan cannot pervert this drive in me, as this door is closed.

I also protect myself from opening the door to this desire by living in Asia. In countries such as Nepal, India and Sri Lanka people dress modestly and the media is not obsessed with sex but about romantic love. Because of this I’m not exposed to promiscuity in pictures and words, which helps a lot.

I remember that when I started being celibate, there was a time when I was wrestling with myself in order to get over this desire. I wasn’t as strong at that time as I am now, because I didn’t have Yeshua then. And so when I split up with my boyfriend in order to practice celibacy, Satan would put all kinds of beautiful men in my path, and make circumstances suitable for us to get into relationships with. I really struggled at that time, and once it was so difficult that I nearly succumbed, but I summoned all my willpower and said no to that opportunity.

And something happened when I did it. This passion that was pulsating through my body got so intense that it felt like fire. And then it exploded in me, and then it disappeared – like it never existed.

This made me realize that it wasn’t my desire that was pulsating through me, but the spirit of lust; and so when it didn’t get fed for a while, it got really hungry but when I denied its appetite when it was weakened, it departed from me to find a more agreeable vessel.

It’s true that Hinduism and Buddhism are false religions. But Satan likes to mix truth with lies, so one can find bits of truth in every religion. Sometimes Satan discloses truth so that to use it to his own advantage. For example, the teachings about celibacy in pagan religions contain a lot of truth; it’s told that you save energy, you don’t get old that quick, your immune system remains strong.

All these celibacy benefits are true. But Satan wants people to become celibate so that their whole focus is on opening up to him so that he hacks into their bodies. To some people it takes ages to open their energy centers (chakras) through meditation and therefore celibacy extends their life and gives them energy to achieve this. When those centers are open, evil spirits enter and start controlling the person’s body.

So as you can see, Satan disclosed some truth to humanity through pagan religions but he did that so that humans get enslaved. Satan never discloses truth just for the sake of “enlightening” humanity. He always ends up using that truth against them in some way.

I believe that celibacy is a very positive practice, and I personally greatly benefited from it throughout the years. I would never want to become a slave of sex again, because I do not want any power to have influence over me, be it appetite for food, sex, greed, or any other force. I want to be in control of all these forces, because I do not want to became the servant of any of them as I only want to serve Yeshua and not any other master. Therefore I believe that it’s wise to apply preventative methods so that there are no openings which Satan would be happy to exploit.

Also, I never wanted to become a mother. I like children, but I cannot imagine myself ever having them. There’s so much work that needs to be done for the Kingdom, and having children would greatly reduce my time spent in serving Yeshua. Yes, you are serving Yeshua by raising children well, but I was given the task of mastering Hebrew and finding pagan relics in Christianity, so having children would severely reduce my ability to be useful in such fields.

Some Christians (especially messianic Jews) are against celibacy because of YHWH’s words to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth. I too was under the opinion that it’s a sort of commandment, but looking closely at the Bible text it becomes clear that it’s not a commandment, but a blessing. YHWH blessed us with these words, and that blessing came true – humanity indeed became fruitful, multiplied, and subdued the earth.

Now the end of the world has come, and therefore when Yeshua came and started teaching that some people make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, I don’t see it as a contradiction to what His Father said; because that blessing already came true, and now the end of the world has come, and the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. People are still focused on prospering themselves and on other selfish pursuits, but there are very few who are completely dedicated to serve the Kingdom.

In the Hebrew gospel of Matthew we find Yeshua also telling that those who sanctify themselves in hearts and bodies produce hundredfold fruit; those who only stay away from women produce sixty-fold; and those who sanctify themselves in matrimony produce thirty-fold.

This makes total sense since those who have family will be mainly focused on that; those who stay single would produce more even without sanctifying their hearts because of all the time that they have; and those who subdue their sexual desire and cleanse their hearts produce the most fruit for the Kingdom.

But Yeshua, as well as Paul, also said that such lifestyle is not for everyone. Most people cannot be single. The main focus of most people is to find a suitable mate. I understand this, because we were given this drive by YHWH. But as Paul said, sometimes people are given the gift of being celibates, and I believe these are the only ones that should walk such a path.

If you weren’t given such a gift but try to live this way, you are likely to end up bitter and hateful. I saw many men becoming bitter when trying to remain celibates due to the teachings of Hinduism and Buddhism. And such evil seeds must never be allowed to spring forth in the hearts of Christians, because they threaten to choke out the seed of the Word.

So these are my reasons of being celibate. I love this lifestyle and it gives me plenty of time to contemplate the Word of YHWH and work for the Kingdom. It gives me good immunity and plenty of energy; I can start working as soon as I wake up – there’s no transition period, so to speak. I don’t remember ever being seriously sick. Since I subdued the desire a long time ago, things to do with lust are never on my mind. Therefore I am in control of my mind and can direct it on which subjects I want it to dwell.

That being said, if YHWH would ever want me to start a family with someone, I would have to comply since I’m His servant. I gave all the aspects of my life for Him to control, because I know that He would direct my life in a perfect way. And although I could never imagine myself being a mother, I also never imagined myself becoming a Christian either!

But for now, I’m enjoying my life as a celibate and maybe YHWH would allow me to continue being this way as long as I live. And I recommend even for those who are in relationships to make their lives more about sharing, caring for each other and expressing love in other ways than sex. Because the purpose of the procreative activity is to make children, so by frequently engaging in it for the sake of pleasure you are at risk of becoming a slave of this impulse and the energy that you lose through this activity may cause other unwelcome developments.

This loss lowers the immune system, brings old age, makes some men bold, weakens eyesight, and causes many other evils. Therefore even for those who have their second halves I would not recommend making such expression of love a daily thing, but something that happens much less frequently, which would also make it more meaningful and enjoyable.

However, the apostle Paul also said not to deprive each other of such a thing so that there are no opportunities for Satan to send another person to break the marriage or do any other evil. So if you or your partner are unable to reduce this drive, you should not deprive him or her of this closeness in case Satan sees an opportunity to destroy your relationship.


In this post I’ve shared my own opinion on this matter. You are welcome to disagree, and we can still remain friends:) Many people feel strongly about this subject so I don’t expect all to be of the same opinion. But since I was asked by some readers to share my reasons for being celibate, I felt the need to write this article.

If you have something to contribute to this subject, please leave a comment.

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  1. This is inspiring stuff! Albeit I am married, sex is not high on the priority list for me or my wife, and there is no resentment for it from either of us. In fact, our minds are usually not focused on it at all, but rather on studies and examining the world. I agree, there are many distractions in life that will lead away from being a useful servant of YHWH Aluhayim, and I think the Wisdom of Sirach 38:24-34 ; 39:1-14 covers this perfectly and poetically.

    I have seen some teachers encouraging people to set up homes and families and build up and serve YAH through good family life in accordance with Turah, and this is regrettable to hear, as the time has come when such things are vain. When one is distracted by all forms of worldly matters (such as households, jobs, and families) then their eye will stray to the enjoyment of such life, and they will fall into traps. My wife and I have now managed to be able to put our whole lives in the trunk of our small honda suv, and with no regrets to having it this way, but rather enjoying it, and meanwhile live our lives in only about 400 square feet of space, for if we need to we can go nomad with no difficulties. If one is to properly serve YAH, then they would do well to remove as much from their lives as possible that are distractions.

    One of my personal issues in the past was music. I used to play as a one-man-band crazy psychedelic rock. I had an electric organ, a bass keyboard/drum machine, synthesizer and electric guitar, and I spent literally thousands of dollars over many years for all of this stuff, and I had it set up so that I could be playing it all at once through various ways, so as to sound like a whole band at once. But I would get in these kundalini-type states from playing that way. It was like a drug. But when I really started recognizing, then one night I decided to destroy my organ, and after that I either threw out or sold all the rest of my stuff from that set-up except my electric guitar, 2 amps, and a couple simple pedals, and even that I would have no problem leaving behind if I need to, as I do not play it that much. But I remember just spending all night playing psychedelic rock, but then got rid of the set-up and then spent my nights studying all night and seeking knowledge and righteousness, and the truth of Aluah YHWH, rather than just eery now-and-then.
    Honestly, this could be a much longer testimony, but I will simplify it as this: in the past, playing psychedelic rock music was my ultimate idol, for about a decade. But having found the truth at around the time of Passover this year, it was a couple months after that that I literally destroyed my idol as YHWH commands us to do, and it felt great and liberating (albeit the demons which controlled my love for the idol made me very sad for a day, but the power of YAH’s spirit quickly killed those demons and made me happy again).
    It used to be that my whole music set-up filled up the back of our car–now both of our lives can be contentedly put in there.

    But yeah, life is no longer about building estates and family names, for things are wrapping up in this world, as we are nearing 6000 years, and Yahushwa gets a sabbath 1000 years after. In fact, life was never about such things, but rather they were placed in this temporary existence to test us, if we will serve them, or serve YHWH with all our being. Many of the prophets we see lived nomadically, and before he was taken, Enoch lived at the most remote places, as far away as possible, so that he could know of YAH. Ezra spent months in the wilderness fasting to receive the revelations he received. Yahushwa had no home, and wandered about, as did his disciples.

    These are the people we should imitate, as the material things–including building family names–are vanity, and will be burned away, and made as though they never existed. But YAH’s word will not pass, and we as His servants can bring Him great glory before He returns, wether it is by showing people truth, and they follow it; or if it is by showing people truth, and they ignore it, only to have YAH reveal Himself and prove that it was true, so that by us we could be vessels to magnify Him in that day (for that day is not for us, but for Him).

    Praise be to YHWH for your dedication and understanding of these things, and may you continue in your dedication and servitude to the Most High. We as humble creations of mud, can only be servants in the end, and not masters. But one can only have one master. Who will we serve? A cruel master, who touts living “as we please”, but hates Turah, and does not give us a true promise of freedom and blessings? Or a good Master, who set the guidelines IN Turah of treating servants with dignity and kindness, and allowing them freedoms and rights and rest and good treatment, and who promises to release us after a certain time into a blissful life if we only obey Him? The latter seems the only sane choice.

    • I did not say clearly: There is nothing wrong with raising your family in Turah, obviously!! There is no other way to raise a family. HOWEVER, ones life should not be about raising families, whether according to scripture or not. It should be about serving YHWH as deeply as possible. If you have a family, then of course instruct them in YAH’s laws. However,do not make the thing you serve be: having a family and raising them.

    • Amen, dear brother. I feel you are very similar to me. Yes, stuff enslaves, and I too am glad having very little of it.

  2. Hey Simona, I’m a Sikh that hasn’t takin Amrti (gone thru the purification). I’m a lost person finding his way. I have been folloeing your blog since you were into the new age movement. As a Sikh my gurus have tought that. We are not Hindu or Muslim. That we should not pray to idols or multiple gods, if u will. There is only one God and he unborn and never dies. Guru Gobind Singh Ji has written in the Dasam Granth, ” consider this a thousand times, o fool! In the end all these (deities) will abandon you. Centeplate in your mind who was, now is and will be ever in the future.” So I know my gurus forbid us from such worship. And I know the gurus got this knowledge by the holy spirit her self. But my main question simona is that, after death, yes there is eternal hell for the ones that sin greatly, and haven for the slaves of God. But when does temporal Purgatory happen? Or what do you think about it. Bc my gurus say that untill you don’t reach enlightenment you will be gone thru multiple life times to even out your karma and pay for what you have done. But they says life time doesn’t mean only human life but others as well. And that this human body is the only way to reach that true lord and by serving in his will. Please shine some light on this for me for I am a lowely person trying to change for the better good of humanity so I man also help people that are deceived by kalguge. (The era of falsehood). (Satan)
    Thank you for your work simona I’m very glad that I get to read the thoughts of such a servant of God. May Satnam WaheGuru (God) bell you and this world.

    • Bless*

    • Jatinder, do not follow those gurus but follow Jesus. Believe in His death, burial and Resurrection, and ask His Father to send you the Holy Spirit and the Spirit will guide you.

      There are no multiple lives. This is a lie of Satan to put you at ease so that you live in sin and go to hell. Sikhism is truth mixed with lies, which is the most dangerous type of deception. If those gurus had the Holy Spirit they would know Jesus to be the Son of God and would be His followers, because there is no other way to eternal life but through Jesus.

      After this life is a judgement. All of us will have to go through fire to be purified in order to inherit eternal life, as we must be cleansed from all sins in order to be with YHWH who is sinless. Those who lived in sin and had no Jesus to atone for their sins will not inherit eternal life but will be consumed in eternal fire.

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