Am I Still a Christian?

In this video I answer some questions my viewers asked as a result of my recent videos.

I apologize for the audio and video being out of sync towards the end of the video. I think it was caused by the laptop camera.

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About Simona Rich

Thank you for visiting my about page.

If you’re an old reader, you might be surprised that you can no longer see any of my previous posts.

That’s because I’ve realized, through my own experience, the utter falseness of new-age teachings.

If they were only false that would be half the trouble; but it’s so much more than this – by following these doctrines you are risking of keeping your soul in chains.

Please read my full bio below to understand what I had to go through. 

My name is Simona Rich and I was born in Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania.

I was baptized as a Roman Catholic at a young age, before being able to understand what kind of religion it was.

I was so ignorant about my religion that I didn’t even know that Roman Catholicism was just one of the branches of Christianity, so in my ignorance I assumed that the pointless rituals and hypocrisy I observed there reflected the heart of Christianity. Therefore I even blamed my parents for baptizing me before the age of reason.

Not even as a child was I able to accept the Roman Catholic belief which claims that a priest, being a mere human, has the power to forgive sins by being a middle-man between the sinner and God. I also never understood how people could act so holy in a church and then change like chameleons once out of church, turning into gossipers and being highly judgmental.

As I grew older, the stories of Roman Catholic priests being accused of having sexual relationships with young boys further distanced me from Christianity, since I was still thinking that the Roman Catholic Church represented the heart of it, never actually bothering to read what the Bible had to say about the Christian doctrine.

So although I believed in God, I didn’t think He could be found in my religion.

My life after school

When I finished school, I got a scholarship to study tourism in the UK. There I started a very ‘normal’ life. I was in a relationship, living with my partner in his apartment, watching TV and having an okay-paying job.

But although I was living the life that’s supposed to be normal by today’s standards, I always felt that there’s something wrong with this kind of lifestyle. I knew it always, that feeling was always in the background, but I couldn’t really define it. I just knew that I was searching for something, and I thought that I would never find it – I assumed that there’s no answer to that unspoken question.

So I continued my average existence, though always aware of the fact that something was wrong with this kind of living; that some major part of life was missing, or that something was hidden from me. Therefore, I’d been a truth seeker since the very beginning, but it took me some time to understand that it’s the truth that I was searching for.

What really triggered me to rethink my life was the question that reached me out of nowhere, when, one afternoon, I was walking to the bookshop after finishing my call-center shift. The question that I heard in my head was this:

Is this all life can offer me?

I never had this sort of question popping in my head before, so it felt like it didn’t originate in me. It took me out of balance, and although I was pondering on it, I couldn’t really answer it.

I entered the bookshop and started browsing; I would go to that bookshop often those days, but I would never buy anything – I just loved browsing through all sorts of books. But that time a particular book caught my attention, and I knew that I had to get it.

The book was Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, and it was the book that totally changed my understanding of how to handle finances, and it was the book that started my journey towards financial independence.

This book led me to many other wealth books, and the more of them I read and applied in my life, the more in control of my finances I got. Reading such books eventually led me to a similar category of self-help books to do with personal development. So this got me hooked into the new-age spirituality, though I was ignorant of this label at that time.

I ended up reading hundreds of new-age books, and due to this I totally changed my life, became emotionally and financially independent, started my own blog, and, when the blog generated enough income, I finally was able to decide where I really wanted to live.

In Kerala, India

In Kerala, India

Since at that time I was thoroughly into new-age, I asked, according to the new-age teachings, the “Universe” where I should live;

Then all sorts of messages started reaching me about India.

So I took it as a sign that it was the place where I should go. And the day I landed there that place felt like home.

The start of spiritual practices

Though meditation wasn’t new to me – I meditated on and off since the age of sixteen – it was in India that I started to seriously practice it.

In India I also discovered yoga, and all sorts of other eastern traditions got my attention such as palmistry and astrology. Yoga and meditation, however, remained my major pursuits throughout the four years there.

Since I fully followed the doctrines of yoga and meditation, together with strict celibacy, almost no engagement with the outside world and regular reading of Indian spiritual texts, my progress was fast.

Soon I could get into very deep meditation states, my third eye chakra got activated enabling me to see visions and colors; I quite mastered yoga and I was encouraged by some of my readers and those who knew me personally to become a yoga teacher; that, however, never felt right for me.

I also didn’t find the path of yoga teacher appealing because I saw much hypocrisy in yoga schools and among yoga teachers. Yoga centres in India, I’m sure the vast majority of them, are just about making money and nothing more. The quality of teaching is poor, and so a freshly-graduated yoga teacher remains ignorant about the possible dangers that incorrect yoga postures might cause to their students.

Despite of my refusal to become a yoga teacher, I would personally spend sometimes several hours a day practicing yoga.

Due to my studies of Indian spiritual books, meditation and yoga, I was becoming increasingly detached. Though I was never a person that could be called “attached”, the detachment was definitely increasing. I could stay alone, without speaking, for days, and there was never any desire to break such silence.

When I would meet someone and would form a relationship, when the time would arrive to part our ways, I never missed a new acquaintance; as soon as he or she was out of sight, they were out of my mind too. Some people saw this as coldness, but I saw this as a sign of spiritual progress.

Meeting Indian gurus further convinced me that my spiritual progress was fast; at the very last stages of awakening I would get people approaching me to acknowledge my spiritual presence – it happened so often that I could not dismiss it as a mere coincidence.

By this time I had a thriving self-improvement and spirituality blog. I was getting around six thousand daily readers, and I had around 45,000 social network followers and newsletter subscribers. I thought that my new-age articles greatly helped people to find God, and the feedback that I got from my readers further convinced me of this.

But then an unexpected turn happened in my life.

Just before my thirtieth birthday, I left India, as I was getting too attached to my beloved country. After all, I had been living there for four years, and I started feeling that the country itself became like a spiritual crutch for me.

In order to test my independence from India, I decided to leave. So I booked a flight ticket to Philippines.

Upon staying in the new country for around two months, I continued experiencing all kinds of spiritual phenomena as a result of my yoga and meditation practices. Finally, one day, whilst I was having tea in a restaurant in Boracay (it’s an island in Philippines), I experienced the most extraordinary thing.

The place of the scull called “anterior fontanelle” got saturated with something that felt like a cool liquid or energy, and that energy then travelled through the brain pathways to embrace the whole brain. Although at that time I didn’t know what had happened, soon I realized that this was the opening my crown chakra.

After this event I no longer felt the same way; I felt that a channel of some sort was opened in my head. I felt that there’s a definite energy pathway that got opened. Since I was very familiar with Indian spiritual texts, I knew that this opening was supposed to connect me with God – that the Shakti in me was supposed to travel to her Shiva.

After two months of this opening, I started worrying, because I noticed that this opening didn’t empower me in any way, but actually made me much more vulnerable. Before the opening I was fine with feeling energies or getting visions. But now those energies and visions started frightening me, because I understood that the spiritual realm was very, very real, and that it’s not what people think it to be.

The event that really convinced me that I was messing with the energies whose nature I wasn’t told about by Indian spiritual texts was when I was in Malaysia, sitting in a Buddhist temple – around two months after the crown-chakra opening.

I bent down to search for something in my bag (as far as I can remember), and a monk passed by very close to my crown chakra. As soon as he passed by, I felt a sudden forceful invasion of a really low-vibration energy into my body through the crown chakra.

It was so unexpected and the energy was so strong, that it totally took me out of balance, and I needed to really hold myself and breathe slowly to recover. That was the first time I felt spiritually violated, though I felt this way several times before, though in a much milder degree, after the opening of the crown chakra.

So when I was thinking about my state, I became increasingly more worried. I felt not myself anymore. I felt like I lost a personal component of my life, which, as I was taught by the Hindu spiritual doctrine, was a very good thing. But in Hinduism there’s a promise that when this happens, you get a divine life in return. This didn’t happen. [Update: it did happen later, please read till the end.]

The crown-chakra opening made me open to the almost tangible reality of the spiritual world, and it was so overwhelming and confusing, that one day I almost broke down. I fell on my knees and started praying for God to show me the truth, no matter what the cost, because I didn’t want to live in such a state of not knowing what’s happening to me.

And God heard my genuine prayers, and He showed me the truth. What it became clear to me through this revelation is that I broke many of God’s laws, and they are universal laws that are found in Christian commandments as well as in other spiritual teachings.

Update: I was so frightened by this experience that I thought that I was fooled by these spiritual teachings. It took me a year to really understand what happened to me by thinking about this experience almost every day.

Shortly after this frightening experience I renounced all my involvement in New-Age and Hinduism and accepted Yeshua as my saviour. I begged God to close my open chakras so that I’m not longer between the two worlds.

This happened after around five days. It took several months to really fully transition to the “earth” and to close myself off completely from the spirit realm. Feeling totally normal again was beyond relief; though I felt pressure in the head for quite awhile after this grounding.

Another change

Thus started my Christian life. For more than a year I intensely studied the Bible and extra-biblical material. I had spiritual experiences and even saw the trinity in a dream. However, after this intense study I came to the conclusion that the prayers of Christians are actually channeled to the Egyptian trinity due to the way that the Catholic Church has altered the original faith.

I’ve realized that the Bible has many masonic symbols, coded messages and stories taken from ancient pagan faiths. I still believe in the teachings of Yeshua and I believe they do save, but I no longer think in the same way about this faith.

I discovered Paul to be a false apostle, and that we have his version of Christianity – that it’s not that the words of Jesus save but that this was accomplished by the sacrifice of Yeshua (though YHWH never accepted human sacrifice). It was no longer Christians that worked out their own salvation but they only had to believe that all the work had been done for them by Jesus.

These discoveries empowered and freed me, but at the same time many of my readers were disappointed by me distancing myself from mainstream Christianity. Some even accused me of being a false teacher because of these findings.

After more than a year of the third-eye chakra awakening I began really understanding what took place that day. I got anointed. The meaning of the word “Christ” is the “anointed one”. “Messiah” means the same thing. Everyone of us should experience that anointing because that’s a true born-again experience – internal salvation.

This teaching of how to be born-again is found in inner teachings of different religions, but it’s suppressed and therefore people need to go beyond the surface of mainstream religions to find it. This is the most important thing that could happen in your life because it’s the true mental and physical transformation.

Because these inner teachings are only partially available (forces of darkness always attempted to destroy it), we don’t have the full information of how to go through this process safely, so things go wrong. If you don’t purify and prepare yourself, things can go really bad. Through the grace of God I was able to go through it, but the experience was frightening.

During that experience you suddenly find the veil totally lifting up and you see the spirit realm. For those who never experienced it, or experienced it only a little, this can be a traumatic experience. And if you don’t understand the process, it can completely frighten you.

You will experience intense purification and it might seem that all your energy is being removed through the crown chakra. Demons will attack you as now you are a bright being, and sometimes they may even try to possess you so that they frighten you and you stop this awakening. Your old personality dies and it will feel like you are extinguishing your very self. These experiences might be really frightening.

I did more reading into these experiences, and I realize now that all the stages that happened to me are listed in the spiritual books in esoteric Hinduism. At first it’s frightening, especially if one is not ready. But later the experience normalizes and then the benefits are felt.

I’m at the stage where I feel the benefits of this experience. My mood is uplifted almost always, I am not shaken by things that most people are shaken by. Since the personal energy after the transformation vibrates at a much higher level, I tend to stay alone as there’s really nothing in common between me and most people.

I’m not telling this arrogantly, I’m just explaining what to expect as this will happen to all who go through this experience. There is definitely the connection with the Divine. I can learn new things very quickly and there’s plenty of energy. I feel that I’m making good progress every day.

What I experienced is called “enlightenment” in Hinduism. But new-age got it all wrong. It’s not that you become god and know everything when this happens to you. But it’s the process when you are born of spirit, and a great transformation follows the experience.

I’m still in the process of learning about this experience and feeling its benefits. After this experience there’s a lot of work to do; one needs to totally unify oneself – merge the conscious with the subconscious mind, to become a whole human being. This is just one of the many things to do.

So my story doesn’t end here. It’s an ever-going process. Every day I’m learning something new and my understanding of this reality is expanding, and my beliefs are breaking down. This is again one of the things that happens after the awakening – the destruction of all false concepts and beliefs.

I hope that you will learn from my journey and benefit from this knowledge; I hope that the information on this blog will help you to avoid the mistakes I made in my spiritual path.

Thank you for reading this far; if you wish to keep in touch with me, you may choose to subscribe to my newsletter found close to the top of the right sidebar, so that you are updated when I post a new article.

With love,

Simona